A Play In One Act:

The room is small and dimly lit. A lone figure, a girl, sits hunched over the computer. Soft music plays from somewhere in the room and a dark cat sits behind the computer, watching the girl work.

Suddenly, a loud noise screeches from the stairs. The Writer appears at the door and flings into the room. The girl curls lower over the computer trying to ignore the commotion, to no avail.

Writer: "Did you get started on the newsletter for this months events?"

Girl: Yes that's what I've been doing for the last hour, like we talked about.

Writer: Oh! Let me see!
The Writer leans over the girl, then growing uncomfortable pulls up a chair and pushes girl half out of the way.

Writer: Hmmm, ok. I don't think I really like this. Can we put this quote at the top? Oh and why are the margins so small? Can you move those, or let me just. . .

Sighing girl starts using the cursor pad on the laptop to make the changes. Simultaneously, The Writer reaches over to commandeer the mouse and starts making the changes too.

Girl: Wait, can you not do that I'm trying to make the changes.

Writer: Oh, right. I'm just trying to scroll up too.

Girl: Ok, well just tell me what you want and I'll move it. We can't both be trying to move the cursor

After agreeing, The Writer ignore the requests and continues to use the mouse as Girl tries to use the laptop control. Growing frustrated, Girl nonchalantly reaches around the computer and unplugs the mouse from the computer.

Writer: What the F$%@? Why did this stop working all of a sudden??

Girl: That's so weird I don't know! I guess I'll just use the cursor control on the computer and just tell me what you want to do

Fade lighting with The Writer smacking mouse against the desk. Girl is sitting a little bit straighter.

***************************


Tonight is night 2 of Passover. And while I'm not Jewish, let me just say that I love passover. Passover celebrates the Hebrews escaping enslavement form Egypt. Last year, I went to my friend Bonnie's house for Seder and had a wonderful time with her family: reading, singing, and talking about the history of Jews and their survival. It was a beautiful night, made all the better by the loads of Charoset (a delicious traditional seder food). I wish more non-Jews could appreciate the amazing tradition of Jewish holidays. This year, unfortunately, is the first year I will not be able to enjoy Seder with my Jewish friends
(despite being invited to two) in probably 3ish years.

I'm sad that I will not be able to celebrate this year, but I wish a happy Passover to all of those celebrating!

Another reason, I like passover, it happens around the same time as EASTER, usually. One of my FAVORITE holidays!

Well, Hello There Monday

(yay for spring! This crocus made me incredibly happy!)

Pretty sure The Writer is thinking of breaking up definitely with Partner. Today, I went with The Writer to look at a house that only has place for Writer and the cat. No Partner. And The Writer is planning on being able to afford it if a roommate (who actually pays rent) is involved. I'm not getting all worked up about it though since we ALL know that The Writer's mind changes about a million times a day.

I'm also not getting my hopes up because The Writer has been dating Partner on and off for 2ish years now, and their twisted and ridiculous relationship shows no sign of ending.

Here are some things I've learned about relationships from these two:

Lying is ABSOLUTELY OK, especially if it means you won't get caught doing something your partner doesn't approve of

Taking out an unwarranted restraining order on your partner just because you want them to move out is acceptable, just make sure you read #1 first

Not wanting your partner to be happy is totally normal and, in fact, in the end makes for a happier relationship (except not)

. . .I think I meant to say here are some things I learned about how NOT to be in a relationship with your partner.

*****************
I spoke at length on Friday about my lovely, little sis' B-day on Sunday, and here are some photos from the big day!




The Birthday Girl and I, looking rather matchy-matchy

Lovely Birthday Cake (courtesy of Mama Staley-who, incidentally, was also wearing a gray sweater and dark wash jeans)

Tonight I decided to whip up a delicious meal for the roommates: Indonesian Pork, Brown Rice, fresh Green Beans sauteed in butter, salt and pepper, and Snowflake Rolls. Although baking is my passion, I really do enjoy cooking up some delicious grub for others!

Happy Birthday, Little Sister

surrounded by boxes AHH!_____my packing partner, clearly a big help

One day, several months ago right after Partner had moved back into the house with The Writer, I arrived on Thursday (The Writer isn't home on Thursday's but I used to go in anyway and clean the house) to find Partner leaving for work. Upon entering the house, I noticed that it smelled strongly of pot.

Surely not, I thought. I'm imagining things, or Partner just smokes some really nasty brand of cigarettes.

And for several months, no more smell. So I assumed it was a fluke.

Then, a few weeks ago, I ran down the basement to grab something for The Writer and again could smell pot. Partner had been down there before me, but only for a few minutes, hardly enough time to smoke a blunt, bowl, etc. (whatever you do when you smoke pot)

Must be something to do with the oil tank, I concluded. Since oil tanks obviously, often smell like pot.

Today, after returning home from a look-see at a place for rent-OH YEA, the move is postponed AGAIN-The Writer says to me, "Well, at least we know they won't be averse to [Partner's] occasionally pot smoking.

I guess I was right. Not that it particularly matters, and maybe this is ageist, but I guess I just don't think of recreational pot smoking as something people in their early fifties should be engaging in. Maybe I'm just too judgmental, but at least now I know I'm not crazy. . .

*********************

Since I don't post on the weekends usually, I want to take this opportunity to wish a HUGE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
to my darling younger sister, Miss Em.

On Sunday, she will turn 18 years old. This makes me both very happy and very sad. Happy because she growing up into such a lovely lady, and sad because she's no longer my chubby little sister who makes sweet homemade birthday cards and thinks Jump 5 is the coolest band EVER.

In honor of this most auspicious occasion here are my 5 of my favorite things about my baby sis

5. She has glorious porcelain skin
4. She has a great sense of humor, and also understands my sense of humor (a rare thing!)
3. We can have entire conversations without actually speaking a word
2. Her fashion sense is killer, she always looks incredibly fabulous, thereby putting me to shame (but I still love it)
1. She's not just my sister, she's my friend



sisterface and I before we became our glamorous selves.

KABOOM

I wish had something more exciting to share with you today.

But. . .I think you've heard it all in the last few posts. Move on. Move off. Move on. Move off.

I do think that finally, FINALLY the move is officially on. The Writer and I shook on it. And I started packing dishes and kitchen appliances with the Writer standing over my shoulder, useless as ever, but managing to find a problem with EVERYTHING I did.

There are some days at work that I think my head is going to explode.
********************

As a result of this exhausting week at work, I don't even have anything excited to share personally. My evenings are spent splayed exhausted on the couch, praying that this week will end soon.

One fun thing I discovered this week thanks to the roommates-Kris Allen's cover of "Heartless," originally from Kanye West. Check it out here and let me know what you think. I believe I like it even better than the original!

Wishy Washy

Just as I feared, after packing almost a dozen boxes of books and the like yesterday, I arrived to work this morning to find The Writer in a complete state of panic.

The move was off.

At this point, I struggled to keep from throwing myself out the second story window, right after torching the stacks of boxes I'd packed yesterday

KIDDING!

but I was royally pissed.

Then, after a MASSIVE emotional breakdown which involved crying, shaking, panic attack, and nearly 2 hours of running every possible option by me for the 100th time--

The move was back on.
Mind you. I said about 3 words during this entire time. I didn't actually suggest, affirm, or disagree with anything The Writer had to say for fear of making the situation worse.

I suggested that we halt packing for the day since I really didn't want to pack everything up just to unpack it all once The Writer's mind changed again. The Writer agreed. 10 minutes later we were back to packing.

(I use the term "We" loosely here, as The Writer has yet to actually do ANY of the packing. Partner and I have done it all, so far. Nonetheless, The Writer often uses this term when discussing things that I *ahem* WE do.)

*********************
There are only 8 episodes of LOST left. Every Tuesday I become a little more depressed, and a little more confused.

I expect tonight to be no exception, and I can't wait!

[Almost] Moving Day

I arrived at work this morning quite apprehensive. The two weeks before the much debated move is upon The Writer and Partner. First thing as I walked in the door, I tried to size up the situation. Finally, after some chit chat about our weekends, I broached the subject. This prompted The Writer to launch into a 25 minute monologue about how they were still a "maybe" until Friday for the new place (The Writer is really hesitant to move in the new place that they found because it's in a podunk town East of nowhere.)

Upon hearing that the move is still somewhat up in the air, I got a little worried. So help me if I pack up their whole house only to find The Writer's mind has changed AGAIN! Still, I spent at least two hours today packing up TEN boxes of books alone in The Writer's office.

After packing everything up and nearly throwing out my back several times, I sat down to take a break and get some computer work done.

"I just feel so righteous after doing all this packing and seeing everything I've accomplished!" The Writer exclaimed.
A. Since when is The Writer a surfer from the nineties??
B. I really wanted to point out the obvious that The Writer in fact hadn't accomplished anything. BUT I refrained as I need to keep this job for just a teensy bit longer.

This move might just be the end of me. And I'm not even the one moving!

*************
On a brighter, much happier note: I had a glorious weekend full of friends, family, and lots of good times! The following are the pictures that resulted from all the fun. (My real camera has decided it no longer needs a flash to operate, hence these pictures were taken on my phone, which doesn't like movement. So sorry for all the blurry messiness. Better than nothing!)

Friday Night Reunion! These are some of the lovely girls I went to college with. The hottie smack dab in the middle came to visit us with her husband from CO; we hadn't seen her in many months!

These goons are my current roommates.

The weekend fun continues with a surprise party for my Uncle John!

Cake #1

Surprise party #2 and cake #2 for a good friend. It was so nice in NE this weekend the festivities were held outside around a campfire. Glorious!

Sunny Side

This weekend is shaping up to be so fabulous, it might just end up deserving it's own post. Sunny skies everywhere I look, good friends visiting, and surprise parties. OOh I love SPRING!!!

Looking for some fun new music to help you celebrate this loveliest of weekends?

Try out this talented gal. She's only 23!!

Boots and Boxes

I don't usually post on Thursdays because I don't work. But, today was the exception as I have tomorrow off instead this week. So, I thought I'd grace my blog with a late night post!

Today was flip flopped for me, I got to have the morning off, and was able to see a good friend from out of town. The always amusing Miss Bonnie S. was in the area and we met for a chat and coffee (for her, anyway) at one of our favorite local places.

Imagine our surprise to find the place completely redone and looking a bit to posh for our liking! Where were the scarred walls, raggedy furniture, and too crowded seating areas?? Sad. But we sucked it up and I had a deLICious pumpkin crumble muffin which I have every intention of learning to recreate (I wish I'd gotten a pic before I gobbled it down!)

Our visit was lovely and I was quite thrilled to see Miss B. wearing some fabulous new boots. She looked so nice, I just had to take a picture of her!

Whoo, just look at them sexy boots!

Sadly, I had to leave all to soon and head off to work, where I was greeted upon arrival by The Writer's attention starved cat and dog. One of whom someone forgot to feed before leaving for the day.

The two animals milled around me begging for attention as I traipsed around sans Writer trying to get some filing, paperwork and various and asunder office tasks done before The Writer returned and all work came to a screeching halt. . .

At one point, I actually found myself having a conversation with the dang cat, who kept following me around meowing persistently. Unfortunately for her, I don't speak cat, so I don't think she ever got what she wanted. But we did have a nice chat about how I wish The Writer would stop leaving me notes with things to do, that I can't possibly because I have no idea what the notes actually mean. Evidently, after all this time, I don't speak Writer, either.

Then the cat got lost in a huge pile of boxes piled around the living room for the move (God save us all). I couldn't find her for quite some time.

. . .And people wonder why I don't want pets. . .

Oh yea, It's St. Pat's Day. . .

It's about to hit the fan. I can feel it.

The move is back on. This time for real. Landlords are involved. Tensions are rising.

Today, The Writer went into almost complete breakdown mode, sleeping for half the day, stomach ache, headache, and being unable to put together one coherent sentence.

I have heard several times before how sometimes The Writer comes completely unhinged. It always makes me panic a little hearing about that, but thankful I didn't have to deal with it. Well, I think my luck may just have run out. EEK!

ALSO

Here are the top 3 things The Writer and I talked about today (after the extended mid-morning nap)

1. The Writer's bout of diarrhea this morning and possible causes
2. What kind of seasonings should go in crab salad and if this would aggravate aforementioned diarrhea
3. How Partner would have to be vigilant about picking up dog poop in the new place, since they'll be living in a complex not in their own house, now.

Is anyone noticing a theme here?? Pretty sure The Writer and I reached a new level of relationship today that I am NOT comfortable with!

That said, I do feel pretty bad for The Writer this week. Moving is never fun, but especially not when it has to be decided on and happen in the span of about 4 weeks. (I know you're probably all shocked I just wrote this, but it's true!)

**********************
Today, I'm in a baking mood with no one to bake for and nothing to bake with! How awful. I guess I'll just eat some more nutella tonight instead. This time with pretzels.


(This nutella bath is so fantastic, but also a bit gross.
Mostly it just makes me laugh!)

What's with the sudden obsession with nutella, you ask? I discovered Nutella on sale at the grocery store last week and couldn't resist. Nutella is SO expensive here in the states, and I'm too cheap to pay full price, so I only get to enjoy this delightful spread once in awhile.

I can't tell a lie

Shaking things up today. I think I'll start this post off with something fabulously delicious!

{plus} {equals} Heaven on a plate. YUM!

This was my LOST snack for this evening and it was GLORIOUS:0). BTW, what the heck is up with that show? Just give us some answers already!

*************

I think awhile back I wrote a somewhat lengthy diatribe about The Writer's penchant for little white lies.

Well, today, while in a conversation on the phone with a pal, The Writer busted out this gem that I just had to share with you all.

Just a few short seconds after finishing a long explanation about why Partner needed to be lied to about some things, The Writer began to talk about what information should be given to the new landlord (the move is back on again. . .)

"I can't lie. I'm not willing to do that, and I don't think I can. I'm going to 'not tell the truth,' but I absolutely can't lie"

And so I've gleaned even more insight into The Writer's twisted understanding as to what lying actually is. Basically, I'm getting that if you value truth and honesty, and fail to tell the truth, that it's not lying. So, lying is. . .?? Anyone have a clue? Because I certainly don't. In fact, despite The Writer's firm beliefs, I was under the impression that lying was indeed, deliberately not telling the truth.

Convo Confusion

Today, I thought I'd replay another conversation that happens all too frequently during the week (And happen twice today, incidentally).

Me: [Writer], this is the way that you wanted those press releases, correct?

Writer: ooh, no, I wanted Tim's name before Dan's. Tim is the bigger star so he should be first

Me: Uhh, you told me last week that you wanted Dan first because he's more locally known

Writer: Right. But. I want to Tim to go first because he's more famous. That's how I always do it

**I interject here to tell you that while The Writer often tells me, "This is the way I always do it" it's usually in reference to things that The Writer, in fact, NEVER does. I do.

Me: Umm, actually, you've been having me do it the other way around. For, like, the last 3 months

Writer: Well, that's wrong. It should be the most famous person first, even if they're performing last. I don't know why I told you that (condescending voice indicates The Writer actually doesn't believe me. Since, I clearly am lying about the order I was told to put performers in on a press release.)

ME: So. . .I should switch this around

Writer: Yes. Wait. .. what did I say??

Ahh Monday. I'm glad you're almost over.

**********

Here are three Monday thoughts:

3. I really want to go here, like, NOW



(Milos, Greece)

2. Miley Cyrus is talking on TV right now, and I can't get over the fact that she sounds like a man.

1. I get she's a pop star, but I really don't understand why people think Lady Gaga is hot. Check out her Cosmo expo. . . What do you all think? Hot or not?

Move It

The move is off. At least for the weekend. I'm sure The Writer's mind will change again several times before this whole saga blows over.

Lucky for me, the change in plans came with an awkward conversation about The Writer's sex life with the Partner and whether it's feasible for them to have a roommate.

I nearly vomited several times.

On the bright side, The Writer is finally planning on making deadbeat Partner actually start paying instead of just living off The Writer.

Then, we went on a 3 hour long grocery shopping excursion. Thank God for weekends!

*****************

On a completely separate note. Last night I was driving behind this ridiculous truck complete with enormous confederate flag, Texas longhorn centerpiece, bumper sticker that read, "Never mess with Texas" or something of the like, and steel balls hanging off the trailer hitch. Upon getting closer, I realized that the license plate was, in fact, a New England license plate. Seriously?

oh, and sorry for the crap picture. It was dusk and I was driving!

A Thousand Words

Here's what a day working for The Writer looks like in pictures.

-----8 am: Breakfast--------------9 am gettin' ready-------10am To Do List

----12pm at the P.O. Box ----------- 2pm faxing-------------4pm headed home!

4:04 PM Belting out some tunes on the way home
Don't you wish you had an exciting job like this?

So, today the funniest thing that happen to me was when I headed to the post office to mail some important documents. After taking a picture of this most exciting activity, I plopped the mail in the box and headed back to The Writer's house. Upon returning, I started to feel like something was wrong. Then it hit me! One of those packages was too big to mail regular, and had to be brought into to pay for special postage! I quickly explained the mishap to The Writer then ran back to the P.O. I had to go in to explain to the employee the situation, so he could go out, open up the whole post box and fish out my package. Thankfully, it was a nice day so he was happy to go outside. And I got to take two walks during work.

Hello, Neighbor

Today, I almost died.

of pure panic.

Today The Writer was in full "find new housing" mode. Twice, today, I was scared speechless that The Writer might, in fact, end up becoming my neighbor.

I'll set the stage for the first moment of shock. I'm blowing around the office, looking for the right labels to mail out some important documents. The Writer and Partner or hunched over a laptop, looking at options for housing.

"Hey!" The Writer chirps, "Isn't this the complex you live in?"

"Me???" I ask in a high pitched voice, trying to stay calm

"Yea, don't you live in South Amherst?"

Much relieved, I sink into my chair, half crumpled labels in hand. "Oh, no, I live in North Amherst, nowhere near that."

Thank GOD

Scare #2 came when The Writer located a house just down the street from me, and began to seriously consider the possibility of moving there. I was overjoyed to inform The Writer that the place was completely out of the budget, and was swarmed with college students. The Writer agreed. Saved again. phew!!

**********

Today a friend and I were looking at all kinds of fun blogs. I think I'm starting to go blog crazy!
Do you have any fun blogs you like to read? Let me know! I want to read them ALL!

Also. . .

I love this man. well, his music anyway.

A City of Books

The Writer is moving.

I shutter just thinking about all of the craziness that is about to ensue.

It all started when last week when we found out that a large sum of money gifted to The Writer every 6 months by a generous benefactor was not coming in June, or every again, for that matter.

Of course, The Writer has been in a state of panic as this money payed the rent.

After running through the budget AGAIN (are you getting tired of the ole budget? Because I sure am!) it became clear that the only option was to downsize. The Writer is acting fast, and hopes to move by April 1st.

That means, The Writer, The Writer's partner, dog, cat, and I have about three weeks to pack up and get out.

Anyone want to take a guess as to who will be doing all of this moving out work?

. . .ME

Why the 'tude you ask? Well, mostly because I have spend the last 8 months of my life, rearranging the same bedroom 5 times, the office 3X, moving a 100lb. desk up the narrowest flight of stairs in existence, hanging, taking down and rehanging the same 3 posters approximately 10 times and transferring books from 4 large book shelves downstairs, upstairs.

Just when everything is finally to The Writer's liking. . .I have to move it all again. Except this time to a completely different house. Fabulous.

**********

This vintage book made me really happy today. I wish I lived in a city of books

Friday!

My favorite work day of the week is upon me! Well it's upon everyone actually, but no matter. If you're wondering why I didn't post yesterday, it's because I, blessedly, don't work on Thursdays.

I can't say how thankful I am for this time off to recoup from the craziness of the week, and return to my perky self for Friday.

AND today, I got to work from home in the morning, so it was very relaxing.

My favorite moment of the day, came along with this quote from The Writer "I really value truth and honesty"

. . .now I know none of you know the The Writer, but let me lay this out for you. The Writer is the master of manipulation. The Writer lies to me, to friends, to people involved in the writing business, to the credit card company. You name a person, The Writer's lied to them.

On more than one occasion, I have been sitting next to The Writer on the phone and heard The Writer blatantly lie to someone. Upon hanging up, The Writer is quick to turn to me and justify why it was absolutely necessary and acceptable to lie in this instance.

Apparently, as long as you value truth and honest, you don't actually have to practice it. . .

*************

Today, I found this picture while I was "working from home." During a road trip through California this January, my friend and I discovered the "Artichoke Capitol of the World." Needless to say we had to stop for a photo op with the biggest artichoke in the world. It makes me laugh every time!

Save What?

Today I'd like to present a typical conversation with The Writer that takes place at least once or twice a week.

Me (to The Writer): "Umm, where is that file I made and put on the desktop, so I could find it for today
The Writer: Oh, ahh what file?
Me: The one entitled XXX. . .
The Writer: riiight. I deleted that. I didn't know what it was
Me . . .
The Writer: Why, was it important?
Me: Well, it had all the information for your latest e-mail campaign that I spent all last week compiling. You asked me to put it on the desktop so you could find it, and I'd remember to do it for today.
The Writer: Ok, but I don't like when things clutter up the desktop
Me: OK, well you asked me to do that, which is why it was on the desktop
The Writer: Well, can't you just get it from the recycle bin
Me: No you must have permanently deleted it.
The Writer: . . .Hold on. . . let me just check this e-mail

(I then proceed to spend ANOTHER week compiling the SAME information)



*****************

(If these don't get you ready for spring, I don't know what will. Incidentally, I really HATE peeps!)

Budget Smudget

The budget saga continues. . . After another 3 hours working on the infamous budget, its has been paired down to a mere 4 pages! Not without The Writer's share of panic and even a mini-breakdown, however. Against my better judgment, I even suggested a cigarette break (EEK! I know).

My day didn't end there, though. It was topped off by The Writer deciding to go on a protein fueled diet in order to "kick start my metabolism." I imagine the problem is not so much the carbs as the vast quantities of oil The Writer's partner fries EVERYTHING in. . .

(It should be noted that all protein diets, for some reason, cause an increase in uncontrollable flatulence, just saying.)


***************
In Other News

If you haven't already heard of a singer/song-writer named Erin McCarley, check her out here.

I often listen to her while working when The Writer isn't around. She calms me down, and makes me want to move to Nashville and become an ole fashioned singin' star!

March Around Please

March is finally here! I wish I could say I was more excited but, alas, this is the view from my living room window. Not very inspiring, eh?

Even so, I headed to work today with my spirits high and, at the request of a friend, determined to get to the bottom of this name change business.

It was not to be, however, as after being absent for half my time at work, The Writer returned in an uproar about an impending surgery on her foot. This surgery will leave her completely helpless for at least a week, needing to be waited on hand and foot (heh!). I think we can all imagine who the wait staff will be. . .

Plans for getting the scoop thwarted, I bucked up and still tried to make the best of the day at work. Until The Writer informed me that despite the fact that I have previously spent about 10 HOURS (and I'm not exaggerating!) creating a detailed, SEVEN PAGE monthly budget plan, the work wasn't done yet. In fact, could I just hop on the computer and redo the entire last three pages of detailed budgeting information so that it was landscape format and not portrait?

Oh, and we don't actually have an updated copy of the budget because The Writer deleted it, thinking we wouldn't need it again. Apparently, seven page budgets are only good for one month. How was I to know?

**********
In Other News:

Here are the glorious aformentioned heels.