iluvitwhenya

As you're reading this post you should go here and listen to this song by Northern State.

Now for the real stuff. . .


Today, one of the things on my "to-do" list was to go grocery shopping with The Writer. Two things:

1. I actually don't mind this menial task that she makes me do because I love grocery shopping. I love the bright lights, I love grocery store music, I love how the produce section smells, I even love loading everything onto the conveyor belt. It's just generally a very therapeutic experience for me.

2. I hate grocery shopping with The Writer. It is quite possibly one of the most tortuous experiences of my life. Every single item she buys requires a painstaking decision process where she tries to decide which brand is cheaper, which is cheap but good quality, which is the one she used 6 years ago to make a dish whose name she can't remember. Then, after all this she gets overwhelmed and decides she doesn't actually need it at all. Usually grocery shopping with her takes at least 3 hours and leaves her anxious and on the brink of a breakdown and me with a pounding headache and the desire to punch someone really hard in the face.

As such, I've made it my personal mission to keep her from ever going grocery shopping with me if I can help it. Today was no exception.

Although I love it because it usually means at least an hour where I'm totally free from her ridiculousness it also means that when I return home, The Writer finds fault with just about every single item I bought.

Today, for example, The Writer (who went over the list three times to make sure everything was as she wanted it) unpacked one of the bags I brought in that contained 2 boxes of turkey burgers.

"Ooooh," she said, "these are actual burgers. What I wanted was the ground meat that was on sale" (I only wish you could hear her condescending tone here. Like, oh sorry you're an idiot Katy and I didn't explain this explicitly enough and now I'm stuck with this thing I don't want).

"Umm. really? Because you wrote turkey burgers on the list and they were buy one get one free like you wrote"

"Right, but I didn't want actual burgers, I just wanted the ground turkey on sale"

"Ok. but there was no turkey on sale except for these which you wrote on the list"

As usual, at this point The Writer realized that I was right and phased out of the conversation while still pretending that she had no idea what I was talking about.

Just for the record (because I'm sure you're keeping one) The Writer DID write turkey burgers on her list!

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P.S. wondering about the song request? I just really like the song and was listening to it while blogging. And I thought how fun it'd be if while reading you listened to the song I did while writing.

Fun? Maybe?

Scrabble

This is what I came home to tonight and it made me very happy. J'adore les mots! And my roommates:)

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Let me let you in on one of my favorite moments with The Writer today.

The Writer: "I've decided that I'm not going to take any calls during the day anymore. It's just to distracting and time consuming. (a few minutes later) Wellll, I'll only take calls from people calling me back, or Lisa* because those are always quick. Or from Partner, or calls about going walking."


Let me explain why this is so ridiculous. The only people that ever call The Writer are people returning her calls, Lisa*, or a couple friends who call to see if she wants to walk. She then proceeds to get caught up in lengthy conversations with them.

Shortly after making this bold statement, The Writer raced to pick up the phone (it was Lisa*) and had a "quick" hour long conversation.

*Name change for obvious privacy reasons. "Lisa" is The Writer's BFF.

Three Month Goals

Keeping mum on the topic of my leaving is getting so hard! The Writer and I spent much of our time today going over our schedule for the next 3 months, as well as her goals for those months because she's planning on starting several intense projects.

She kept asking me questions about when I thought would be a good time to do things. How long I thought redoing her website would take me and what I thought of her September plans.

It was torture. I started to feel so guilty that I was leaving and haven't told her yet. As I sat on her front porch with her (holding my breath so as not to breathe in her gross cigarette smoke and die from lung cancer) I started to get an awful prickly feeling up my back. Then, I started to get sweaty and I could feel my ears turning red.
I know I've posted about this before, and I think my opinion changes depending on my mood. Today, I think it's going to be awful.


I sort of imagine something of this nature. EEK!

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OK, so I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I'm currently watching the most ridiculous reality TV show ON THE PLANET!

The Bachelorette is like one of the most high drama, out of control, unrealistic shows I've ever seen, but somehow I'm hooked.

My and two of my skeptical roommates spend 2 hours every Monday night shrieking, laughing, and arguing over who the best guys are.

My current fav is a lawyer. And he just won an olive oil wrestling fight. Shirtless.

Thanks ABC for making my Monday nights no much better;0)

Gallavanting

Hopefully, she won't mind me doing this, since I haven't actually spoken to her about it. . .BUT if you're at all interested in world traveling, check out this girlies blog about a trip she's currently on in Cambodia.

She is one of my best friends and I miss her very much and really want her to come back, but in the meantime I love staying updated on her life in Cambodia with her colorful and fun blog {not to mention the 10 page e-mails we send back and forth just about every day;0)}

Here she and I are being idiots in San Diego this January!

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If you're getting a little stir crazy for lack of stories, sorry! I can only say that she has been so out of control of late, I don't think I could capture it in words!

I will say that this past week, while a friend was visiting, Friend asked me if I had any plans for grad school, etc. I hedged a bit, not wanted to inadvertently tell her about my real plans.

The Writer came in (she'd been out of the room) and overheard us talking. She immediately like went into panic mode, and was like "Don't encourage her to leave any time soon! I NEED her!" and grabbed my arm.

I just stood there awkwardly laughing with them and chose to keep my mouth shut.

I'm getting the impression that telling her I'm leaving is going to be a lot bigger deal than I'd hoped.

Whoops!

Lock Down

First let me apologize for the somewhat boring post yesterday. I don't even know why I bothered. Clearly, the heat was melting my brain.

I think I'll more than make up for it momentarily, however.

Let me just preface this by saying that today was quite possibly one of the most ridiculous days of my life (I can't be entirely sure, since I often have pretty crazy days).

It began calmly enough, with a leisurely "work-from-home" morning. I woke up an hour later than usual, had a delicious breakfast of waffles, and (surprisingly!) even did some work.

I meandered out the door in time to arrive to work for 12, and was pumped up listening to the 80's lunch hour on MIX.

Fast forward ahead about 1 hour. I'm blowing down the road in my bosses car this time, on my way to C-R auto shop to get her oil changed, while she's out with a friend from New York.

As I've mentioned before and you can clearly see, the assistant part of my job is slowly being downgraded to housekeeper/carkeeper. (5ish more weeks!)

I follow the directions that The Writer gave me and arrive at an auto shop, alright but not C-R. A call to The Writer reveals she, of course, gave me the wrong directions.

Armed with new directions in hand, I pop back on the highway and am off. Several minutes later I reach my destination blow in to the office and ask the guy at the desk about an oil change.

He basically laughs in my face and tells me that (although The Writer claims he did) he would never have told someone to come by without an appointment and he's booked until next week, but why don't I take a card, thanks!

Another call to The Writer, and she gives me the names of 3 other places to try out. Umm. No.
Instead, I got on my phone, got their numbers and called to confirm that in fact you NEED AN APPOINTMENT!

I the returned home to find, for the first time in the year I've been working for The Writer that her front door is locked.

Unable to find a spare key, I call her up AGAIN and tell her the door's locked

"Well how'd that happen?!"

Ugh, gee Writer. I don't know, I've been driving around for the last HOUR AND A HALF trying to get your oil changed.

Long story short: We're locked out.

After picking her up in town, The Writer and I return, where we realized the only option is for her to wriggle in through a window that is cracked open less than a foot (good thing she's rail thin!) despite the fact that she's wearing a short dress and severe pain because of a stomach bug.

I got quite a show. Not that I ever wanted to see this particular show.

I'm laughing out loud right now, just thinking about this day. How do I even get myself into these situations. And JOBS, no less. . .

Matt & Ingrid

I'm not feeling very bloggy today. It's too hot!

Today was my day off work, and I enjoyed every lovely minute of it, especially the ones spent sprawled outside by the water catching some rays!

I also realized today that in about 2 weeks I will be breaking the news to The Writer that I will be packing up and moving to Boston, so she'll need to find a replacement (or not). I am at once excited and slightly terrified. Every so often I have these horrible images of her flipping out and attacking me, or taking me hostage in her house.

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This past weekend, I took my younger sister to see Ingrid Michaelson in concert. She was fabulously entertaining as I expected. Her concerts are full of jokes, sing-alongs, and hilarious covers like Britney Spears' "Toxic".
(Ingrid and her band)
Matt Morris, a guy I've never heard of, opened for her and I was pretty impressed. He has a fun, funky sound and was super sassy when singing! Now, I'll admit-I spent more time drooling over his fellow guitarist who was pretty sexy {at least in MY opinion:0)} than paying so much attention to Matt himself, but if you're looking for something new, definitely give him a listen!

Go here to check him out and get a free song!

Pantry Moths

As usual, today was out of control. My day began with several ridiculous pieces of bad news.

The Writer has an infestation of pantry moths.

Partners mom is in the hospital.

I, in lieu of doing my actual job, was going to be responsible for researching and getting rid of said pantry moths while The Writer went to take care of Partners mom. Oh, and could I also do laundry and clean the house??


I spend the day feeling like things were crawling all over me and screeching in panic any time one of those bloody moths flew out of the pantry.

Oh yea and stupid cat was being absolutely ridiculous today. At one point I actually had to put a leash on her and drag her in from her lead, because she wouldn't let me pick her up to bring her in

I did find some of this in the pantry though. MMM. Too bad it wasn't open so I couldn't sneak some in. . .

Pomp & Circumstance

And so it's done. My dear younger sister has been sprung from high school and launched into the "real world".

What and happy and sad thing all at once.

Below are some pictures, which show off the occasion better than I could write it!

Em and I before graduation!


so cute!

Emily and her boyfriend, Jason.

. . .not paying attention:0)

Graduating & Working from Home

This has to be the most amazing week of work EVER. Here's why:

1. Yesterday, The Writer decided to take a nap sometime around 12:30 pm and didn't wake up until 10 minutes before I was to leave.

2. Today, although I had to work late, I got to head to my parents place after to spend the next day with my family

3. I'm "working from home" tomorrow and Thursday as The Writer is out of town, and let's face it, we all know that's really code for I have TWO paid days of from work this week.

4. I return to work on Friday for an abbreviated day because my darling younger sister is coming to my place for her graduation present: seeing Ingrid Michaelson in concert. Whoo!

Needless to say, weeks like this don't come around often, and I'm embracing it with open arms. So much peace is going to be happening without The Writer flinging crazy all over the place!
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As I said, I'm back here in the town I grew up in to see my younger sister graduate high school. Tonight was her class night, filled with a slide show and performances from her fellow classmates.
It's pretty strange being back here, seeing all the places and things that I grew up experiencing everyday of my young life. They all seem really foreign and different now. I miss my little valley and my little town. I miss all the familiar things that make my home now, HOME. . .and it's only been a few hours!

Still, it's fun to spend time with family, and see my sister end this faze of her life and become a grownup!

Not to mention, I get to see my baby bro in shirt and tie-twice. Something we don't get to see very often 'round these parts.

This is more like his usual:0)

More on the graduation festivities tomorrow!

. . .then I almost killed Betsy

Don't worry. . .Betsy's my car!

Did everyone have a good weekend? For the first time in what feels like awhile, I had a rather calm weekend. I watched lots of movies and read an entire novel, it was glorious.

Mid-afternoon on Saturday, however, the giant joke that is my life reared her ugly little head.

I decided that I was hungry but wanted something healthy like a giant salad, but didn't have good fixings for it at home. Also, I really had a hankering to watch a scary movie (which is unusual since I don't like scary movies). Obviously, a trip to the store was in order.

Our parking lot is a little cramped, so maneuvering cars is always a little bit tricky. My car was blocked and backing out required driving over a hill thing. Nevertheless, I'm wicked stubborn and decided to just gun it.

. . .and suddenly my car was almost completely sideways with me up on the hill. . .

It was at this point that I realized perhaps my plan had been a little overzealous. I mean, I'm not exactly driving a Ford 350 here. Try a 12 year old Ford Escort. Whoops!

So, I put the car in drive, figuring I'd just move forward, stop being lazy and just move the other cars out of my way.

. . .and then I got stuck. On the hill. Less tipped than before, but with my back passenger tire like a good inch off the ground. Eek!

Since I couldn't get out the driver side because there was a giant, muddy hill blocking my door, I climbed over and squeezed out the passenger side door, ran inside and enlisted the help of some friends to get me unstuck.

We all had a good laugh, documented with some pictures, and figured a quick little push would solve the problem.

Umm. Nope.

In fact, it required finding some wood, wedging it under the tire off the ground and me gunning it to actually get me off the hill.

Here are the crappy pictures that resulted in this escapade. You can't really tell how ridiculous the situation was from this picture and I was already partway unstuck, but it's still a little humorous.

Wolfy, Cont'd.

Much to my surprise, when I arrived this morning The Writer was having second thoughts about her decision to end her affiliation with her poetry series.

That was a lie. I wasn't surprised at all.
She spend an hour in the morning briefing me on all the reasons she was having second thoughts. Reasons I neither cared about nor was following. The biggest struggle the whole time was to keep from bursting out laughing.
This afternoon, she sat me down once again so she could read me the letter she'd written to her good friend and fellow board member because she felt she wasn't being taken seriously (gee, what a huge shock. . .)

After she finished reading me the letter, The Writer became very pensive, chin in hand.

"I know that people are crowing tired of my crying wolf" she said.

". . .but I wonder. . .In the story of the boy crying wolf. When did the boy tire of being the one crying wolf. No one ever seems to focus on him. I mean did he feel like this just needs to stop at some point "
Uh, yea. No one every focuses on him because he's the idiot that keeps causing a ruckus for no reason. If he is tired of crying wolf why doesn't he just stop?"

The above exchange happened in my head--don't worry. Outwardly, I just mumbled a sympathetic noise and nodded because, I mean, what does one even say to that line of questioning???

Blessedly, shortly after this inane conversation it was time for me to leave. I just awkwardly stood up, unsure of how to wrap this one up, and announced it was time for me to go.

Sometimes, I think The Writer gets offended by the fact that I'm so eager to leave every day. I believe she is like secretly hoping I'll be so engrossed in her life, I won't want to leave.

Keep dreaming Writer, keep dreaming.

Crying Wolf

Dishes scattered about the kitchen.

Tuna casserole crumbs littering the stove top.

Gross smelling animals waiting forlornly at the door.

These were just 3 of the things that awaited me when I arrived at The Writer's humble abode today.

I knew immediately it was going to be a long day. . .

Before I launch into today's tale, let me give you a little back story. The Writer began a poetry series a few years back which is actually a pretty cool. Part of my job is to do all the PR for this series to make sure it's a hit every month.

Initially, The Writer ran the whole thing mostly alone with some occasional help from a board of directors.
Twice now The Writer has had a major freak-out about the situation and threatened to quit the series and caused major panic among the BOD only to change her mind and return. Once we even spent weeks creating a dossier detailing everything The Writer does for the poetry series so that the others could carry on without her.

These impulsive decisions were accompanied by a multitude of breakdowns, panic attacks, crying, and almost fainting. Needless to say, it was incredibly intense.

Finally, it was decided that the BOD would step up and take on some of The Writer's work. This has proved to be more difficult than it sounds because The Writer likes to do everything her way, is easily offended, and hates confrontation unlike other members on her board.

Things seemed to be settling down of late, and a two month break beginning in August looked like a great opportunity to get organized and take a breather.

Today, however, The Writer received an e-mail from a board member that she found to be rather upsetting. Thus, the day proceeded in fits of crying, angry outbursts, and manic rearranging of the bedroom. Ugh. . .

Right before I left today, another crying fit came on in which The Writer indicated that she wants to just give the whole thing up.

OH. MY. GOSH.

Not to be drawn in to her web of insanity, I strongly advised her to neither send nor read any e-mails regarding the poetry series, ESPECIALLY regarding her leaving the series.

I then hightailed it out of there so fast, the house might have been on fire.

Less than two months. . .

All The Wrong Names

I received some unparalleled words of wisdom from The Writer today that I thought I'd pass along to you all:

"Ten dollars saved this week is ten dollars out the window next week."

I'll admit, when she first began this quote, I thought she was going for something more like, "a penny saved is a penny earned" but The Writer never is one for sticking to normalcy. In fact, I'm pretty sure that word doesn't exist in her world.


Also, today at work I was ruminated over my choice to call her "The Writer." I mean, theoretically, this makes perfect sense. She does after all purport to be just that, a writer. And when she does produce some piece of writing it actually is very well done.

But lets be honest. In the year that I have worked for The Writer {EEK! I can't believe it's really been this long} The ratio of the amount of writing she's done to the amount of time she spends doing other things like aimlessly checking her e-mail and Facebook is like 1:1000000000. She keeps talking to everyone about how she's working on getting a book of poetry published, but that's not really true. Unless she plans to publish a 3 page book. And half of the writing that she does she ends up tossing out, dissatisfied.

My conclusion? It seems that maybe "The Writer" is actually a misnomer.

I can think of a few better suited nicknames. . .
Do you have any suggestions?
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In my previous post, you may have recalled me chatting about Uncle M who owned the boat I went sailing on this weekend. Basically for the last several weeks I've been under the impression that Uncle's name was Mike. Definitely called him Mike whilst on the sailboat.

Last night, a friend who was on the boat informed me that Uncle Mike is actually Uncle George.

WHOOPS! Sorry Uncle Mi- err George:0)
(Here's Uncle G. in all his glory)

Babies

Guess where I am right now?

Yup. Panera. My new and second home;0)

No Writer today so no ridiculous stories to have you all laughing about. But I've been so remiss in updating this little blog of mine that I thought I'd post anyway!

I had an incredibly productive day off today and even got to spend part of the day playing at the beach with the sweetest, chunkiest little kiddo ever. One of my friends nannies for this little 2-year old and his siblings and we got the have fun with him at a local swimming hole. We spend a lot of time throwing rocks into the water and making splashes. And he even accidentally threw one into my mouth. Literally.

He also took immense joy in going pee in the water (he was a naked baby today) and announcing it to us every time.

My favorite thing about this cutie pie is that he calls everyone "Mom," and it took him about 3 seconds to start calling me, "mom" as well. It's actually really sweet and made me excited to have my own little chunky babies someday;0)

Sailing!

Sorry I faded out last week on ya'll! I'm still dealing with limited internet, not to mention being a busy, busy bee!

Rest assured The Writer is still in top form. Friday when I got there several poet friends were with The Writer at the kitchen table. Apparently they were waiting for me to arrive because the night before they were all at a poetry reading, got rip-roaring drunk and decided to go to a farm of another poet friend the next morning to see her yak and camels.

I was completely confused as to what was going on, and just shooed them all out so I could get down to some real work, like planning my sailing adventure that took place yesterday!

Yesterday, 5 friends and I headed down the Cape to go sailing on one of my friend's uncle's boat. We left (literally) at the crack of dawn and headed south, only to find that a raging storm was ripping through the Cape

(view of the marina from my rainy window)


Despite being dejected, we continued to hope that maybe things would clear up, and even went to play in the rain at the beach. While there we discovered a dead shark! I was thrilled, although completely freaked when Alexandra decided to try and touch it. Bleck. . .

All our hoping paid off, however, when after awhile the clouds started to clear and we got the word from Uncle M that we could hit the high seas!

We then headed on the most ridiculous sailing adventure ever to hit Cape Cod complete with me cutting open my leg, someone almost puking, and someone almost going overboard while we were boarding the boat.

We sailed to Martha's Vineyard and back and I'm now totally down on some sweet sailing terms.

Wondering what a jig is? boom? Not sure what tacking is?

I could maybe help you out with that. . .;0)


Needless to say it was a fabulously entertaining day and I only got a teensy bit burned on my back!

(some of the goons getting ready to head out)

Rash Decisions

Before I even get into anything about work, let me share this photo, that I took horribly with my phone! In case you can't tell, it's clean, white laundry blowing in the cool summery breeze and smelling so glorious words can't describe it!

I'm so happy that summer is arriving. . .

I think I'll just dive right in today. The Writer has some mysterious rash covering her entire body. Apparently, this prompted a major breakdown yesterday (thank God I wasn't present for that!) and today she was going on, in VERY intimate detail about this rash business.

Thankfully, she went to her doctor to have it checked out and although he doesn't know what it is really, he believes that it's not contagious.

It better not be.

Also, her doctor apparently recommended she throw out all of her generic soaps, detergents, etc. and start buying unscented, all-natural products. Now, I'm as big a fan of reducing my carbon footprint as the next person, but seriously do these people not realize what they do when they issue these instructions to The Writer. She's in a total uproar about the situation because if you'll recall she's a bit of hoarder. Her specialty besides clothes. . . toiletries. So basically, she won't be getting rid of a darn thing, just trying to cram more stuff into the already bursting house. Great.

On the bright side, The Writer is not turning into some sort of nudist as I feared last week with all of the non-wearing of clothes/leaving bathroom doors opening going on. My apprehension was laid to rest when I arrived to find her fully clothed, and when the bathroom door was kept closed every time she used it.

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If you have never heard of him and you enjoy acoustic artists, you need to check out Joe Purdy. He has the most peaceful, folky voice. I always listen to him when I'm in Panera (like I am now. No internet at my summer home yet!).

Try out:

He Said, She said
Isn't Love
I Love the Rain the Most

Move {half} Completed

I'm writing this post while pouting inside a Panera. My glorious outdoor lunch/blogfest was abruptly canceled when a downpour started. Lame.

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The first half of my move is basically done. My things are in storage, a very LARGE suitcase and my mattress are at a friends new place, and many things are hanging out in my car, waiting for a home {like me!}.

And in about 2 months, I'll get to complete the second half of my move when I head to Boston.

I'm happy, sad, and oh so very tired. I am thankful that I have today off from work since I had to work the weekend {I think we all recall that joke of a day;0) If not read the post below!}

That means only 3 days of work this week. Hot Dog!

The move was quite an event. Not to mention, my car was so jam-packed full of stuff, I'm not entirely sure how she even made the trip to the house where I'm storing my stuff!

Here's a sort of abstract shot of how crowded I was. The pink ruffle in this picture is my shirt sleeve. I had stuff over my head, behind my feet, on my lap, everywhere! I could barely even put the car in gear to get started! And I could only see out the front window, my window, and the side view mirror, nothing else. EEK!


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I hope that everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend! Despite all the moving chaos, I still got to make time for swimming and hanging out with good friends. It was utterly delightful. I even have a lovely new tan to prove it!