Thursday, December 23, 2010

More Tales from the T

First and foremost. Let me update you on my life with this piece of shocking news: I saw my T crush on Tuesday and he had cut his hair! Gone were those beautiful, luscious, blond, curly locks (OK, now you're wondering if I have a crush on the man or the hair. . .I wonder that too sometimes). I'm pretty sure I gave an audible gasp when he entered and I recognized who he was. Still, after recovering, I decided he looked just as good, maybe even a little more mature (I like mature) and he still had cute little licks in front, like, just hints of curls. I could handle that.

However, I couldn't be too focused on T crush because the most (this remains to be seen, as stuff like this happens often) ridiculous scenario was playing out right next to me on the train.

Actually, I've gotten ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning. 5:05 PM, a coworker and I hop on our train to head home. I grab a nearby seat, while J stands across from me (she was getting off at the next stop to transfer). A short, rather stout man gets on the train and charges over to where I'm sitting, squeezing his way between me and another passenger. J and I are chatting when, just after we pull out of the station, Man sticks his arm right in front of my face, so that I actually have to lean back, and presses the bell strip on the wall  (Mind you, you don't have to do that underground). His hand lingers for a moment then, he slooowly lowers it away from my face. J and I are working hard not to laugh at this point.

We arrive at the stop for which he's rung the bell. He sits calmly, not even attempting to get off or looking the least bit confused, concerned. nothing.

J leaves, i plunk in my headphones and slip into the dream like state the T always induces in me. Man falls asleep or is dying or something, as he's making weird, hacking, blowing noises periodically. I squeeze as far against the wall as possible.
When we hit the above ground portion of our trip, Man becomes excited, but for some reason is moving at the pace of a sloth. He leans over, this time in the other direction, and basically straddles the male passenger beside him to ring the bell strip again. Other Guy looks alarmed and tries to get out of his way, to no avail. Man half stands, sits after that. We stop.
Again, doesn't get off.

This goes on for 3 or so more stops, until, at one point Man is literally on top of Other Guy. With a wild look in his eye, Other Guy manages to scrunch up and scoot his way out from under Man and slide next to me. He looks at me with a look of panic, confusion, and just general WTH?? I smile understandingly, secretly really glad Man decided to use the other bell strip.

Finally, Man makes his way to the exit, but doesn't get off. When a woman gets on blocking his way the door, he becomes incredibly agitated, "Excuse me, excuse me" he exclaims in a nasaly voice, "I'm getting of at the next stop. Excuse me!" 

She smiles calmy and assures him she'll move when they stop. Man is clearly not happy but has no choice. At last, the train stops and he exits, blocking several other people trying to get on/off in the process. I spent the rest of my ride home trying to work out exactly what had just happened.  All I can say is, there's never a dull moment around these parts.

For the record, T crush seemed to find these goings on equally strange. Not that I was watching him or anything. I mean, not at all. I just assumed. . .





No comments:

Post a Comment