The End of the Affair

I've recently become disillusioned by a store, who name I will mention. Kohls.

To be fair, recently actually means about 3 minutes ago, so I'm writing this through the embittered haze of one who has just had the glitter of a fabulous online order ripped from her eye (does that even make sense? Forgive me, I'm a little irritated whilst writing 

this. . .)

I can remember when it all first started. About 3.5 months ago, I headed into a Kohls having been there, of course, a million times before. Countless sales and great buys for some reason hadn't really made it clear to me. That fateful day, however, something changed. My eyes were opened (so to speak) and I realized what an amazing deal everything was. So many sales, so many fun clothes. I was in love. Totally in love. I even signed up for their credit card (eek!). From that day on it's been fabulous. Kohls peppers me with incredibly exciting e-mails and sales, and I happily head to kohls.com and spend way more money that I should. It's all a win-win really (well, now that I'm writing it out it doesn't seem too win-ny for me). 

Then about 2.5 weeks ago, I headed onto their website to find the most adorable little night set and all the proceeds went to charity. It was half off for $5 but then of course if i ordered $50 I'd get free shipping andihadacouponfor15%offsoIhadtoreallyordermorethan$50. . .OK, so you get the point. Sixty dollars later, I was happily tapping in my Kohls charge number and getting excited for my purchases to be shipped three day express for free and arrive before Christmas. Not because they were presents, but because I really wanted to wear the new outfit for Christmas. 

December 23rd rolls around and I come home from work to find my package sitting pretty in the lobby for me. I rushed inside and began to tug open the packaging. Suddenly, a black wad pops out of the bag. "What?" I think, "I didn't order tights in my frenzy, did I?" Oh no, I didn't. Kohls.com had screwed up my order and sent me three pairs of large, men's, black gloves. Seriously? Where were my Vera Wang jeans? My LC cardigan with purple flowers? Nowhere to be found!

The next day, I called to remedy the sitch. The lady was very accommodating but confused me with talk of someone coming to pick up the order and switching and setting up times, etc. It all seemed a little complicated and ridiculous to me, but I went with it. How foolish. When I'd still received no word from "them" -the people who were to switch the order- I started to get a little impatient so I called again tonight to get more answers.

Oh, I got some alright. Super helpful guy tells me a. girl from before did something that was wrong and (he didn't say exactly) wasn't even protocol; b. I can remedy the situation in about 3 weeks; c. I have to go return the wrong order they shipped me in store if I want to speed up the process; d. I can't get part of my order because it's no longer available (the sleeper set that started this whole mess) and; e. I still won't get the rest of my order for another 2 weeks.

Dear Kohls,

We're through. 

At least until you send me another coupon for 40% and I totally forget that you suck at keeping orders straight and I really don't like you. But until then, I'm so over you.