The 8:25

"This train will standby. we will STANDBY!" yells the conductor as I adjust my iPod's volume and get out of the way of passengers jumping off the train to try and cram into another across the way. After seeing the explosion of people already on that train, I decide to stay put and wait it out. Then the lights go out and I'm standing in the dark with dozens of other strangers sardined around me. I have my music blasting but I feel the quietness, and people breathing loudly as we all wait in this oddly intimate setting. Slowly, the train exhales a breathe, and begins to hum again. The lights flicker back on. I resign myself to being late.

The moment my alarm started chirping this morning, I knew it was going to be a rough one. I felt it in my weary bones. I laid in bed for an extra 15 minutes, convincing myself that it was entirely possible for me to take a 5 minute shower. At 6:44 with a dramatic flourish, I threw my 3 layers of warm down off the bed and hoisted myself up (you see, I'm full of drama even when I don't have an audience!).

Only a moment later it seemed, I was glancing at the clock,  blinking to make sure the time was right: 7:51. As in, I have to leave in 16 minutes (my schedule is down to the minute in the morning). I still had to blow dry my hair, lest it freeze in the 26 degree weather, find shoes, get my life together, solve world hunger. All the usual morning stuff. In 16 minutes!

I made the grueling decision to take a later train than normal, and finally headed out into the cold air to catch the 8:25 train. which of course came late. When it did finally arrive, I piled on and started to read while the conductor screamed into the speakers that we were going express "Thank you thank you thank you!" I thought, "I might actually be on time for work!"

Then, we hit underground and the dreaded standby. Drat! But as the lights flicker on, I see a seat open up right across the way and I lunge to snatch it. A seat on the 8:25 is a precious commodity and I'm not about to loose it. I turn my attention back to my Kindle and the book I'm reading, only to hear a loud clatter. I glance up to see a man launching himself through the train and slumping across a few seats also opened up by the standby stampede.

I look over at him. He's wearing ridiculous sunglasses. I glace around the rest of the far car, and go to turn back to my reading. "Don't stare!" the man screams. A girl gives him a startled look and he says, "not you, I was talking to her." and I know he's pointing to me. I squint at my Kindle, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. "I wasn't staring" I think.

The train lurches forward (finally) and I hear the man shouting things to other people, yelling hostilely, I feel a collective intake of breathe as he gets up and swaggers down the car. No one ever wants to get stuck next to the crazy person. They're unpredictable but as regular on the morning trains as the commuters. There are stories. . . sometimes they attack people, or corner them. I wait with tense shoulders until we reach his stop and he stumbles off.

After what seems like a day, the train reaches Government Center. I'm almost there. As I speed walk the five final minutes to work, I glance at my phone: 9:11. I sigh and walk a little faster. And as I enter the building and reach my floor I see the VP of the company standing talking right in my path. I try to take an alternate route but she hears my fob beeping me in. We make eye contact and I still go the other way. And right then, I remember why I NEVER take the 8:25 train!